A Woman finding herself …..

Ekta25's Blog

She is a woman, finding her own space and place  in this  ever changing world.
One more human being, discovering herself,
 each day a new beginning – a new awakening .
~~
Loving, emotional, temperamental, moody, passionate ….
and trusting.  Desperately trying to be honest in the midst of  a world filled with greed and selfishness.
~~
Someone who gets  easily attached to people emotionally ….
One trait that she knows that she needs to change so as not to get hurt
But  then, she also knows that she has  her other side  too.
~~
Stubborn,  fiercely independent, wanting to break away from all the norms,
society has placed before her .
Sometimes she may even appear to be a little rebellious and arrogant  ….
Others may merely view her as a woman of respect and quiet in demeanor strictly adhering to the norms of society….
~~
But only she knows…

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Acceptance

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“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Nothing is Static

Movement
Movement

Nothing is static…

Everything is changing constantly.

No one can be static even if they wanted to.

Each moment in time is perfect.

Being in the moment and appreciating it.

This moment won’t come back ever,

Nor will it ever be the same again.

One day we will be left with only memories.

Even at that moment,

We will have to be in that moment of time.

But when we have the privilege of looking back,

Let those moments be moments of sweet memories….

Getting in touch within

 

It is not about fixing things around us.

It is about getting in touch with the peace within us.

Sometimes it is hard to believe that it is the other way around. All our lives we have been taught that to solve our problems, we have to focus on getting things right on the outside. We think that things will be perfect when we start to fix things around us. We fail to realize that most of the time as we clear up something, something else gets messed up.

We presume that everything will work out fine so long as we we keep solving our problems around us. But somehow each time we fix something, another thing pops up waiting to be fixed or solved.

Each time we fill one pothole, another pothole crops up. Each time we are satisfied that we have achieved something, another desire or goal arises to be fulfilled. Each time we think we have got what we had wanted, there is one more thing that we want.

When I get in touch with the peace within me, things change miraculously !  Everything may or may not remain the same on the outside. But my feelings, my perspective, my state of mind takes a complete U turn…  I no longer feel the frustration, anger and sadness that I had felt before.

The magic lies in this simple turning of my consciousness from the outside to the inside, even for a short period of time constantly … When I get in touch with that peace within me, it also embraces me in it’s arms. I too take on the shade of the colour of peace and clarity …

Real freedom is not when I free myself from external forces, but when I free myself from the clutches of my mind .

Then I can deal with the problems around me, not coming from a place of confusion, anger and frustration but  from a place of peace, clarity and tranquillity.

The Pot

The pot needs to be broken again and again to recreate itself. For it to become a bigger one, It needs to lose the older one. The act is of  preparing itself to carry more .  And so do I. ….   I too need to constantly break free of my chains and concepts.  And also ideas of what is, what I have been, believed in and been chained by/ to.  I need not fear any more the breaking of the pot .  I recognize now, that it is for my own good and  growth …..

This is the process, I finally realize. I cannot hold on to the breaking of the pot.  It will happen automatically in due time.  That is it’s nature.  And the outcome on the contrary to what everyone believes in,  is not of pain or suffering, but of understanding, compassion and love…

Untangle

Oh….

How I long to untangle  for a moment ….

~~~

To break loose of all the chains binding me,

shackles in my mind of years of conditioning.

And to fly over the mountain tops like a bird.

looking down reveling in the beauty of the  valleys….

~~~

To feel the wind play with my hair  wildly,

and the soft breeze kiss my cheeks ever so gently,

To chase pretty butterflies across the fields,

and lay down on the grass totally carefree….

~~~

To ride a bicycle right into a pool of water,

to fall down and laugh to my heart’s delight.

To watch the sunset  over the horizon,

Lying down at the edge of the sea ….

~~~

To chase little crabs on the  sands of the beaches,

while  avoiding getting wet by her waves.

Then to fall into the waves of  the sea ,

allowing  it to carry me into it’s embrace….

~~~

To relish to my hearts delight,

chocolates and ice creams without any guilt.

To listen to all the music my heart longs for,

and to dance to my very own rhythm ….

~~~

Then to look up into the dark skies at night,

at the silent moon smiling at me ,

To lay in the arms of  my   lover,

And be totally lost in love forever ….

~~~

To  go beyond my goods and bads,

beyond my perceptions of rights and wrongs.

To abandon my prim and proper self recklessly,

And to untangle  for a moment ….

~~~

Yes, It was worth it !

To forget the trivial…..
To remember the most important, then …
That day you begin to celebrate Existence ~ Prem Rawat

Sometimes we go on in life, taking things for granted until something comes crashing down. I too have been completely distracted in the day to day happenings for quite some time now.  Then to find someone close to you is unwell, shakes your very core.  Thoughts start rushing in, and I have been unable to rest peacefully worrying about their health and well being…..

But above all, my mind keeps going towards what I have been given.  Questions like, have I spent my time appreciating this  beautiful relationship, or was I busy finding faults with this person keeps haunting me. It is so easy to get lost. But to be conscious each day in this life of all the gifts is the real challenge. Appreciation is the key word.

How much do I appreciate and how much do I take for granted.  It is so easy to fall into the routine of  living in a dream like state, totally unconscious .  Then a slap sometimes is needed to halt us and make us open our eyes.

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Writing too has become like that. What I was so passionate about a couple of years back has come to a standstill now. I say that my ink has dried up.  A mental block. A hurdle I find hard to cross over. An imaginary weakness which seems so difficult to be overcome. Each time I try to sit to write, I freeze and I go blank….

Have I become so laid back and complacent in all aspects of my life?

Then turning again to this relationship business.  An eyeopener, which I pray that will last for the rest of my life.  Understanding that we are all humans with flaws. Love will over power all shortcomings. We are here for a very limited time, and have been surrounded by such beautiful relationships . I want to appreciate, enjoy and be conscious of all that I have been given. There is so much richness and fullness in this. Having seen people who have always wanted to be alone, and how their lives became so lonely and wretched, I want my life to be otherwise.  Filled with laughter, joy, abundance and appreciation.  I want to look back and have no regrets, and to say, Yes it was worth it !