The Wild and The Tame…..

What should I do about the wild and the tame?!!

The wild heart that wants to be free,

and the tame heart that wants to come home.

I want to be held.

I don’t want you to come too close.

I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights.

I don’t want to tell you where I am.

I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me.

I want to be with you.

— Jeanette Winterson

All Alone

It is Christmas day…..

I feel all alone. Though I am surrounded by so many who love me and claim to love me, deep down there is a vacuum. Somehow their words sound hollow. They do not seem to touch my innermost core.

Looking around, I find everyone,  quite lost in their own little worlds. Each person is a selfish creature including me! I find the whole human kind akin to animals. We either hunt or are being hunted! Yes, absolutely true.

It may sound shocking but  human nature is so very close to  animals that we see. I always avoid watching animal planet or the discovery channel, when they have these documentaries about animals. They always put a fear in me, watching the stronger animals going after the weaker ones.

But sadly, we too are the same. When we find someone who is weaker or think that they are lesser than us, we have the tendency to bully and intimidate them. It happens from the top to the bottom. It happens in all ages, with all age groups.

Suddenly, I realize that I have only myself.  I have to become clear that I came alone and when I leave, I will leave alone too…… Though I may imagine and hallucinate that there are millions around me,  I exist alone.

It can be scary, but it looks like it is a process of acceptance.  A process of coming to terms with this reality. The words of my teacher soothes me…..

“No matter how confused you may feel
clarity is always
within you”


Prem Rawat

Teoh Beng Hock did not jump but may have been ejected or pushed out

DAP political aide Teoh Beng Hock was laid to rest today, July 20, 2009.

Picking up tits and bits from all over cyberspace, we will get a picture of what could have taken place.

The MACC said it released him at 3.45am on the day he was to get married. His body was found sprawled on the rooftop of the block beside the MACC’s headquarters in Shah Alam at 1.30pm later that same day.

According to Selangor police chief Khalid Abu Bakar, who has confirmed that they have siezed Teoh Beng Hock’s mobile phone from an MACC investigating officer, supporting ongoing speculation that the DAP aide who plunged to death last week did not jump but may have been ejected or pushed out.

He was being questioned as a witness to a corruption case involving RM 2,400. Yes two thousand and four hundred ringgit as opposed to the RM 4 billion (PKFZ) and many more millions exposed cases involving the ruling party (Khir Toyo) which the MACC (Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission) has chosen to conveniently ignore.

The nation has risen in anger. They want answers to their innumerable questions. Will they find their answers, Will their doubts be answered? Will they be appeased?  Will those in charge of MACC be accountable?

Teoh Boon Hock – Why oh Why?

Why oh why?

What words,

What reasons to describe this death?

We have never met each other,

Nor have our paths ever crossed,

But my heart is in anguish.

Why oh why?

Am I tormented and restless?

Wrenched in pain and sorrow,

Thinking about the cruelty brought upon you,

Where is mercy and compassion?

Why oh why?

Another death, another tragedy!

One so young full of life and hope,

Promises to be fulfilled, journeys to be taken,

Why was it robbed from you so soon?

Why oh why?

Why this injustice, why this violence,

How many more Kugans have to follow,

How many more Teohs need to be lost?

How many more victims to endure this cruelty?

Why oh why?

Who is responsible? Who has the answers?

When will the nation awaken?

When will it rise against these injustices?

Why this cruel fate?

Why oh why?

How long will this go on and who will be next?

Another flower, another leaf,

Plucked from the tree of life prematurely,

Taken away, so callously.

Why oh why?